Don't you hate it when shiet in life is bad, but you know you have to just live with it? That's how I feel about work right now. Very sad. I've been here for what, a month or so? I've thought about quitting every single time I've stepped foot into that place. Yet something always brings me back, no matter how difficult of a time I've had previously. I think it's those small tokens of gratitude that patients show me when they know I've worked my ass off to make them feel as important and cared for as they deserve. But any other second is filled with stress, discontent, frustration, anger... and I don't know if it's worth staying at this job.

No job can ever be perfect. No job is ever easy. But when can you say enough is enough?

This weekend is going to be a party weekend. Actually I take that back. This weekend all the way through next weekend is going to be a party. Tonight is Donna's birthday. Best friend Jessica is coming into town, so we'll be hanging out Saturday and Sunday. Alicia Keys concert Tuesday. Tony Lucca show Wednesday. Then Vegas Saturday-Sunday for Sheila/Ryan's wedding. Somewhere in between, I'm taking my last final and getting in a little work. Whew, I'm tired just thinking about it all.

Did I mention my parents are going to be out of town this whole time?? It's their 30th anniversary on the 24th, so my dad had me book them a train tour across Canada for a week - there's supposed to be a lot of beautiful scenery as you travel from Vancouver - Calgary. It's sweet because my dad is usually the one who doesn't like to splurge, but this trip cost them A LOT and he said it's worth it because obviously, it's their anniversary.  It's very cute, but also reminds me that I am still single and have no one to share that kind of stuff with... ha ha, I'm okay, really.

I'm very surprised I didn't have work today. I worked yesterday and told the administrator that if they needed me, I'd be willing to work. He chose to put me "on-call" if anyone called in sick, but surprisingly, no one did. Thus here I am, Xanga-ing at close to 9 in the morning with not too much to do during the day since I had planned on being at work. I guess since I've got the free time, I'll just start studying for my Statistics final. Probably hit up the gym too. Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful next few days (weather-wise) - get out there and enjoy it folks!!

I have not worked since Tuesday. And that's not really a bad thing. After a really exhausting work week last week, I enjoyed this little time off from work. Technically, I was hired to cover for other CNAs who were taking time off for vacation, etc, so they're calling me to work on an "as needed" basis. Which is fine with me, considering how tiresome the job really is. Being a small Asian chick does not help when you have to move patients twice your size! Even turning them from side to side can be a real problem. Anyway, I figure as long they call me in 2-3 times/week, then I'll be okay financially.

So I spent my multiple days off hanging out with family and friends, sleeping over in SF, watching movies and going to the gym (4 days in a row... that's my record!). I've got finals coming up at DVC the next couple weeks, so this weekend off will be spent studying and lounging around some more. I might as well enjoy this free time during the beautiful days while they last!

I have also come to the revelation that "nice guys" really don't exist. Someone claiming to be a "nice guy" is either a pushover or is too oblivious to the fact that their good deeds are percieved in a different way by the receiver. And we know that while you are acting all sweet and sensitive in front of girls, to your boys, you are trying to be macho and spin your stories around differently. So guys, take my advice and don't label yourself as "nice" and expect to get sympathy from girls because in the long run, those girls are the ones who end up getting hurt/deceived, not you.

*end male bashing rant*

I hate Xanga. It just lost my post.

I hate DVC. The classes I need to register for are already full.

I hate work. They are making me work every other Sunday now, so my social life with family/friends is going down the drain.

Thus is the gist of my post, which was lost. BOO.

My, how life can drastically change in a week. First off, my past weekend was surprisingly chill and alcohol-free. Friday night I watched "A Lot Like Love" with Jenny, Krystel, Gail and Rachelle. Saturday I chilled with Mario, Diana and her friend, then I helped Mar paint a bit at his condo (and I'm completely jockin the red he used on his dining room wall - it's bangin!) We ended the night watching "Sahara" - I swear that's more movies in one weekend than I've watched the rest of the year... ha ha!

I guess I made up for not drinking over the weekend by going clubbing last night at Empire in Sac with Mae, Rachelle and Krystel... good times girls, good times! Drinking wine in the car, getting in the VIP line thanks to Army, meeting folks of different ethnicities (and getting invited to their parties!), bumming stoges off random guys and dancing/chatting/hanging with the girls - it was well worth getting only 3 hours of sleep! We even hit up a 24-hr Mexican joint in Vacaville for some carne asada fries before going home... yummy! Those girls never fail to crack me up with their antics...

The other big thing was that I FINALLY got a job! I'm officially a CNA at Valley Manor Rehabilitation Center in Concord. Luckily I was hired pretty much the day I filled out the application. Today was my general orientation (8 hours watching videos and filling out paperwork - fun *sarcastic*) and tomorrow is more orientation... thankfully part of the day is actual clinical work, so I'll see what kind of patients I'm going to be dealing with. The facility is HUGE - they have about 160 residents and that's low census for them! Thankfully since it's both a short-term subacute and long term care facility, I'll get to work with different patients so work will never be mundane. I'm just glad I found a job not too far from home and school that still pays fairly decent (at least better than facilities in Vallejo!)

Life is finally starting to pick up pace again... I know it'll start rolling by me with a quickness, but for the most part, I'm very much content with how everything is going... Now all I need is a man to make me complete... SIKE!